CHANGE MY DEAR …
Well hello there.
Great start then. We held off making the announcement about when we were closing for refurbishment until we were quite sure. July
Builder bums will be the funniest thing on offer in Fallowfield until XS Malarkey reopens on Sept 6th.
18th? Excellent, OK. Then on Thursday: “Oh by the way, the refurb has been brought forward a week.” Marvellous. Once again proving the old builder’s maxim, “If you can rely upon us for one thing, it’s that whatever day we quote you we’ll start working, it’ll be any day of the year other than that one.”
So apologies for that, but look, we just do the comedy. When a venue changes hands though, there are bigger fish for the owners to fry. So whilst that is going on, I’ll be providing a nice veggie buffet to go alongside it, or provide an alternative, whichever you prefer. I’ll be blogging every Tuesday with memories, confessions and funny stories about what we have been getting up to at XS Malarkey over the past decade or so, whilst looking forward to relaunching in September and continuing our tradition of putting on superb acts for the lowest of prices.
So first I’ll generally outline what’s going to be happening to the club.
First off, some reasons you need to get yourselves down to see us if you’re amongst those we haven’t been for a while (as I address the reasons why that might be the case):
1. Getting turned away: Some of you who haven’t been for a while have Tweeted to say you’ve not been coming because you were used to getting turned away. Have you seen the Queen Of Hearts ? It’s massive, twice the size of our old venue, Remedy. We haven’t turned anyone away yet! The only reason you’d be refused admission is if you don’t have ID. The venue is obliged by the council to demand it. That’s the same council who closed Remedy: good to see they’re persevering in their policy of turning Fallowfield from a buzzing metropolis to a ghost town. We will not let them, much as I love The Specials (I defy that tune not to be buzzing in your head for the rest of the day now, and make for that I make no apologies).
2. Teething problems: It’s fair to say, that when we first moved to the venue it the ambient temperature would have prompted an Eskimo Brass Monkey to pack his welding gear, and it took longer to get the heating fixed that it would take a News Of The World reporter to start frisking a corpse for loose change, but that’s all been taken care of now. The heating works when it is cold, and the air conditioning dissipates any mugginess brought on by heat. It works!
Sarah Millican - one of the many acts who has popped in to perform at The Queen Of Hearts since XS Malarkey relocated
3. Oh what an atmosphere:It took us a while too, to work out how best to set up the layout in our new venue (we changed pretty much overnight, remember?) but in the past three months the atmosphere has been pretty fantastic. We’ve sustained a regular core audience who helped keep the Malarkey spirit alive and they’ve been treated to surprise appearances from Sarah Milican and Alun Cochrane as well as our usual roster of top comedians (Gary Delaney, Laurence Clark, Dave Johns) and exciting new faces.
4. Pre-refurb rundown: It was increasingly bizarre to discover how many different beverages a licenced premises could manage not to stock in recent weeks, but that’s a simple side effect of a bar winding down to change hands and use up stock. So don’t worry, you won’t have to put up with being told that vodka and tonic won’t be possible, would you prefer absinthe and Tizer as an alternative, or that the bitter’s gone, but there’s a veritable stockpile of advocaat and lucozade if you’d prefer that. Also, The Queen Of Hearts will be open every day, not just Tuesday, so we’ll be part of a fully functioning timetable, not a last flickering beacon of life in an otherwise dark and uninhabited ocean.
5. You’ve moved away: No excuse – move back then !
So, basically, normal service has been resumed, and the refurb will ensure we look spanking new and will have the very best facilities.
All those difficulties were essentially beyond the control of us comedy peeps, but we’ve been heckling from the sidelines and making sure that when the oranges needed bringing on at halftime, that they’ve been pretty damned good oranges (ahem : halftime = Tuesday, oranges = comedians … if you see what I mean). Anyway …
We’re back on Sept with a Malarkey debut form headliner Loretta Maine, and if you click on her name you’ll be led to a video of her in action.
Stay tuned online every Tuesday for reminiscences and clips which I’ll be laying on in lieu of the comedy. I’ll make sure I announce all additions on Twitter so make sure you follow me : as @TobyHadoke I’m pretty easy to find. Do us a favour and spread the word – as a non profit making venture, word of mouth is our most valuable resource. Chiefly, our words, from your mouth.
Pip pip!